The phone rings. He wonders if it is her. He just left her a message, practically begging for her to call. "Please call me back!" The dread of losing her has consumed him, to the point of losing control. "Is this obsession? An addiction to her attention?" He wonders, looking out the window at distant buildings, from the dark space of his room.
The phone continues to ring. It is of the rotary kind, void of any common technologies, baring no information. Someone calls, someone in need, he is there, to rescue, to help, to be helped.
One more ring, and he picks up. "Hi. What's up?" She says. Her voice reaching his heart like no other can. While her tone, her words, hitting him hard... "She is upset. She seems distant and has no desire to talk." The thoughts scream in his head, fighting away every positive instinct he has remaining.
"Hi! How are you?" He asks her, having no ideas, having no clue what he will say, lost before the conversation begins.
"Good. What's up?"
"Nothing. Ummm, just wanted to see how you're doing."
"Like I said, I'm good. Is that all?"
"I wish she would offer a little help... please, why should she? In fact, she shouldn't."
"Ahh... yah, I suppose. Well... no, not really. Actually, I wanted to apologize!"
"Okaaaayyyy. For what?"
One of the neighbors across raises the blinds, to look out their window and into his, to watch the drama, the spectacle of his confusions.
"Well. Honestly, I, I, ummm, am sorry for not paying attention to you!" He says this almost shaking, not knowing exactly what he is talking about, despite all the preparation with his friends.
"Be calm and honest, don't wanna come across as obsessive. And lose the drama that you carry around like a body part." That was their consensus. "And then ask her out. Simple question, simple answer. Preferably in person, but if you can't manage that you pathetic lump of male fearful hormones then use that futuristic instrument of yours that erases all space with the one you love."
"What the heck was that?" He wonders hours later. "Badly timed lousy humor these things I call friends tend to waste and throw into empty space. I will get them back. Right now I want to focus. Right now she is the only important one."
"Paying attention to me? Whatttt are you talking about?"
"Well, last night, at John's party..."
"What about John's party????" She interrupts him.
"Ummm, well, I wanted to come up to you, to talk to you."
He pauses for a second or two, trying to measure her reaction. The silence on the other end was somewhat encouraging. He continued, "But people kept coming up to you... actually it was not people, it was these salivating slugs hanging by your side for a second of your attention... at least they had some guts...can't blame them, just being near you adds a few years to anyone's life...stop it with the weird stuff, stop... and to be honest I did not have the courage to just talk to you. I'm sorry."
Another pause; continued silence on the other end.
"Now what do I say?"
"Every action has a matching action somewhere... or is it that every action has an equal and opposite reaction... why doesn't this thing called heart follow rules of physics, things would be simpler... may be then more smart people would study physics... what does this have anything to do with anything???"
"Anyways, ummm, oh, and I also wanted to say that it would be really nice, to, may be, you know, if we went out sometime?!?!" He said, with a multitude of marks in his tone, featuring high levels of insecurity.
Her response is not what he was hoping for. In her own way, she expresses her frustrations with him.
"Ahhhhhh.... Not again. Action and opposite reaction. Action and opposite reaction. Obsession on my side means running away on her side. I'm scaring her. I'm scaring myself. What do I do what do I do... say something, anything..."
"I know you said that before, but I thought you might like to go out, I thought you were giving me signals."
"What signals? What are you talking about?"
He hears about six hundred thousand voices in his head all at the same time, all debating what to say. Somewhere he hears something about love. "'Say 'I love you!' Say it from your heart!'"
"I can't, no way, she just told me she is not interested, she'll think I'm a lunatic."
"'So what? She already thinks you're a lunatic!'"
May be she heard some of those voices. She reaches out, "Is there something you want to tell me? I mean may be we should just put it all out there."
"There is a lot more I want to say," He responds, pauses for a second and thinks, "but I feel like it will be more of the same thing." He adds sadly, desperately hoping for a rescue, for more help, but he's already fallen into the purgatory of self-annihilation, searching for help everywhere but in his heart.
"I am not the obsessive kind. This is all Tee's fault. The jerk, I don't know why I ever listen to that good for nothing human meat."
The conversation ends. He looks out his window for eternity. There is an extremely entertaining smudge on the glass. Eventually, even the smudge loses its appeal. He picks up the receiver, and dials Tee's number. A few rings, and there is an answer on the other side.
"Hey. It's me. She told me I'm obsessed... What the heck am I supposed to do with that? How do you think this makes me feel? And I am probably driving her crazy, I'm driving myself crazy..."
"Okay, okay... calm down. It will be okay. I just need to finish peeling these carrots, call me back in a few minutes and we'll talk about the whole thing. Just remember it will be okay."
A few weeks pass. He avoids all eye contact, afraid of what that will do to his emotional intelligence, but still stealing glances of her every chance he gets, convincing himself no one is watching but really knowing that actually the whole world is aware and keeping track of his antics. For one amazing minute, more like three seconds, of one amazing day, they do make eye contact. She looks at him, reading him like a book. He looks at her, she looks so beautiful, getting lost in her eyes, even from such a distance. Neither smiles. It breaks his heart; yet, somehow and at the same time, it mends every scar he has felt, just by seeing her eyes from within twenty feet. Obsession and fear, even if just for that day, turn into love and appreciation, and with his heart already committed to hers, giving him a glimpse of what for ever is.